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Sugar Cookies and a Nightmare

How My Daughter's Death Taught Me
The Meaning of Life


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Sweet Krissie, Bob has told me many times that although he's never met you, he feels he knows you well through us. I think he's right, because over the years he has written poems about you that capture your spirit. One of my favorites was written on the first anniversary of your death.

She came, and the rainbows were her child's fantasy
And the flowers her gifts of love.
She dreamed of womanhood with gowns and scarves,
Perfumes and jewelry. Yet she was
Pure child and belied the guise.
She left, and the rainbows became her presence,
And the flowers held still her love.
She's gone as child, and the woman rests
As the dream. Yet her essence stays close,
Meaning strong beyond body and time.
She remains.

As I think of you now, I wonder where you would be in your life today. Would you be married like Michel? Would you also have children or be involved in a career, or both? I know you'd still be dancing! This is one of the many reasons you'd love Michel's wife, Jenny. Being from Bolivia, she is a great dancer. Can you believe that she got your brother to take salsa lessons?

Where would you be now, Krissie? What would you be doing? I wonder about everything with you. I wonder what would be important. There are so many questions that come with the dreams buried with you long ago. Questions that will never be answered, but I can't stop asking them. You were so precious to us and always will be. I miss you so much.

Little one, on this day and all days, you have my love.
Your Mommy

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