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Bob's Poems

KRISTEN, IN MEMORY OF YOU
NOVEMBER 13, 1978

She came, and the rainbows were her child's fantasy,
And the flowers her gifts of love.
She dreamed of womanhood with gowns and scarves,
Perfumes and jewelry.
Yet she was pure child and belied the guise.
She left, and the rainbows became her presence,
And the flowers held still her love.
She's gone as child, and the woman rests as the dream.,
Yet her essence stays close,
Meaning strong beyond body and time.
She remains.

Love, Bob


MOTHER'S DAY, 1981

The words can not begin to
Tell of feelings formed through
Years of Mothering.

Michel and Kristen -
Spirits so close, bodies so far -
Hurt cushioned by love.
Love always in bloom.

So let us share today of love.
For love holds us all as one.

My love, Bob


BUT YET...

Motherhood - for you so full of meaning.
A young mother with son and daughter -
Babies to care for, husband as doctor.
So right, so "family," so American - but yet...

Departure, splitting, declaration of independence.
The perfect family no longer -
All units broken - three families sundered at once,
At least seemingly - but yet...

A single parent, a mother alone with only what counted:
Herself, her son, her daughter...Love,
Slowly rebinding. Her parents to understand,
The father to realize. Michel and Kristen to grow. Becoming
Perfect - but yet...

Torn apart and carried away by a wave.
Meaning shattered. Kristen. Beautiful, budding
Kristen - lost forever. Motherhood brutalized
Unity, peace and peacefulness, purpose lost - but yet...

Motherhood tested and understood as never before
Love for Michel life itself against otherwise
Suicidal confusion.
Life slowly reborn
Kristen's spirit scented in bath's bubbles - but yet...

Michel must go too.
A mother apart, searching, regenerating
Bob, Elisabeth, hints of love, new meaning -
A rosebuds; blooms - but yet...

Haunting emptiness.
His choice to be with Dad. My choice here
But whose choice apart?
Not ours. No answers now or ever - but yet...

Minneapolis. Michel. Mom again!
Breakfasts together. Shared stories of school days.
A family of three now true, but testing -
Friends and father gone - only temporary? But yet...

Relaxing - a new family relaxing
Ringing - Copper wind chimes ringing and bringing
A new day - May 9. The first real Mother's Day
In years. Celebrate for today - and now!

My love,
Bob
Mother's Day 1982


KRISTEN

You were laughter and lightness,
You were rhinestones and scarves
You were fantasy in person.
A child's child,
Living outside of what others knew as real.

With the sudden surge of a frenzied wave
Living fantasy became nightmare.


MOTHER'S DAY, 1991

Full of thoughts, dreams -
Fulfilled and frustrated, yet
Rich...rich with knowing and
Feeling that your life, and their
Lives were and are complete.
Filled with joy, memories, and
Much, much more to come.

My love, Bob


MOTHER'S DAY 1993

The love for her children,
Deep but never smothering
Keeping a fire burning at home,
For the son tentatively venturing
Toward a world of his own -
Nurturing yet nudging him -
Like the tigress with her cubs,
A precarious yet perfect balance.
Memories of the other cub,
The daughter gone but so ever - present
Watches and nudges too
Her beloved brother - guided somehow
By her spirit never far.
Two children and a mother
Mystically intertwined
Love's ultimate expression.


NOVEMBER'S DAISY

Sunlight dancing on the giggling swirl of water,
Transfixing my gaze with playful interplay of
Light and now color as a daisy floats through.
Round and round in an eddy twirling, cavorting,
Then jetting out with a mind of its own,
Hitching on a current faster and faster toward
Roaring - still dancing, flirting boastfully with the
World around. Faster floating toward the
Sound of falls, faster arriving, tumbling
Lost in the mist, but still there, just now
Unseen floating now peacefully in gentler currents
Beyond my eyes. A memory. A beautiful, sweet,
Dancing memory.
Vivid and vague, sharp in the sun,
Lost in the mist my daisy, my sweet, precious Daisy.

Bob
November 13, 1996


KRISTEN 2000

She lives on thirty-one years afterbirth -
A young spirit, but an old soul.
She touched many in her young life.
She touches so many still.
Her bloom never wilts.
Her essence stays in full flower.
April 19, 2000
Happy Birthday, Krissi


DARKNESS DENIED

Spirit of light twinkling,
Filling the darkness with
Memories of joy and love
Beckoning through the night.
Glowing, forever twinkling,
Her brightness most resplendent
In the darkest sky - Kristen.

Bob
November 13, 2000


MOTHER'S DAY 2000

A mark in time,
Mother's Day 2000.
Michel in Bremerton
On a third year rotation.
Kristen away, but also here -
Present in the book's pages
Ready today for agent and publisher.
Meaning to a Nightmare
Ready for public - meaning.

Meaning for a young life,
Meaning for your life,
Meaning for years and years of
Work - searching, creating, persevering.
Seems like a Sugar Cookies day.

Much love, Bob


STILL ONE

Feeding her young,
The eagle dives to the nest -
Morsels of nourishment eagerly devoured.
They have grown,
These eager two from helpless forms,
Nurtured and protected
By their soaring, doting mother.

Weeks have passed and
The two must fly.
Trained carefully they launch.
Repeatedly, more boldly flying.
She watches, carefully and completely.
At first never away from sight.

Soon they venture further.
She watches them...away,
And they return,
Full of their prowess,
Though still in ways unsure.

One day only one returns.
She waits, flies, circles
Wings flapping rhythmically.
They are now two and
The one grows and leaves
As he should.
Strong and ready,
He finds his own place.

Soaring, hunting, successful
In his own life's rhythm.
Very much part of her that
Brought him to his high world
And taught him the life
Needed to master it.
And very much his own
Being and self, gliding
On his chosen currents.

A king in his territory
Magnificently perfect in his
Realm, a universe they
Created together, she made
Possible and allowed and then
Relinquished to him.
His, but hers - still one.

Mother's Day at Joshua Tree, 2002

THE SEAL

A small seal glides effortlessly across the water.
Divinely, perfectly there, then gone.
My eyes search for another glimpse.
I'm sad to lose my joyful moment.
Then calm as I reflect that the seal swims on,
Only beyond my sight, away from my senses
She swims.

November 13, 2002


KRISTEN - 30 YEARS
November 13, 2006

30 years away...
Yet 30 years still present.
Each day remembered by
Her Mother, holding her close
With silent conversation together.
Her second father blessed
By her life, enriched
By his wife's journey with her.

Her brother growing with her,
Depths otherwise undiscovered.
His wife sharing and loving
A sister always there.
Her father, so close -
But held away by pain unresolved.

Away yet present....
30 years after, to the day,
Kristen's book, so promisingly offered.
Publishers introduced to her legacy,
To her Mother's life's work.
Today arrives the promised book
From both, joined together
With many soon healing.

Kristen living,
Never away....
Her gentle force passed
From her Mother to a world
made better by
Sugar Cookies and a Nightmare.

I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE.


RENEWAL
For Michel

At last practicing medicine,
Responsibility and challenge enjoyed.
Joyously united with amour now requited.
Soon to celebrate a wedding with
Treasured friends and family
In a favorite place.

One day alarming news
Deploying to Iraq was suddenly,
Possibly than agonizingly sure.
Blissful dreams transferred to
Nightmare. Love and family wrenched
Apart. Life moving away and threatened.

Marriage celebrated to wait,
Marriage legalized to replace.
Legal and minimal, yet profound and perfect.
Busy medicine for aviators usurped,
Replaced by a small grounded unit.
Was his training to be wasted?
Was the Navy's covenant not to be trusted?
How could two so much in love endure?
How could a mother vulnerable from
Heartbreak of a precious daughter's loss cope?

Life's fragility so harshly confronted.
So in control, so out of control - the lives.
So gentle, so harsh - their lives.
So knowing and directed they live.
So helpless and accepting they must survive.
Yet it is more than survival that is presented.
Through helplessness grows power.

He will absorb wisdom gathered never by others.
They will know strength honed from adversity - these two.
They will know love deepened by love challenged.
The mother through it has gained again a daughter.
The mother through it knows her daughter
Deeply, profoundly, so happily they have joined.

From Michel's absence has born love.
A husband wife's love born and born again,
A son's love recast, a daughter-in-law's love magically developed.
A mother's love strengthens her son,
Whose wife's love is reborn to a daughter's
Love to a mother.

The blue sail jelly's skip merrily,
Across the surface of sea.
Their journey suddenly interrupted,
By sand's gritty harshness.
Must their journey end?
No, the tide returns.
Their lives renew.


A DAUGHTER,
A MOTHER AND
A FAMILY

April 19th and May 10th, 2009

She'd be 40 on this birthday.
Hard to believe — 40 or 7?
Her mother seeing seven, stopped in time.
Her brother seeing 40, growing with years.

Either way she's here somehow,
More than just memories.
A spirit felt, a spirit alive
Still here.

Her mother lights a candle each day,
Keeping her close,
Praying, talking to her.
Present.

Imagining her at 40
Grown to adulthood.
A mother? Working? At what?
Living fully, engaging, so much offering.

Then Mother's Day, remembering, honoring,
The daughter, the son, the mother
Celebrating motherhood. Her son
Now a father.

Her son with his wife now
Like a daughter. And now,
A grandson, a gift from both,
Joy.

Joy from a family formed by
A mother with children,
One away, one here bringing another
Family with a wife and son.

So a birthday and a Mother's Day
Close together and renewing
Lives and life and a 40 year old
Daughter at one with her seven year old self.